Days of the week...

Days of the week...

History and etymology were wrong with the explanation of the names of the days. Let me explain...

Sunday. As the name suggests, this day is dedicated to the Sun. Time to be Sunny!

Monday. Etymology shows that it used to be called Moonday. Obviously a dedication to the moon in the old days. Now it's the only day of the week you're allowed to Moon without repercussions.

Tuesday. No, this is not the day of Mars, whoever thought Mars equals Tues must have been spending too much drinking on Thursday (see Thursday). Tues comes from the Spanish "Tu es", which means "you are". It is the day of the week you should be yourself entirely, regardless of what anybody else says.

Wednesday. History suggests it was dedicated to Jupiter, again that doesn't make any sense, unless you drink too much. The real reason is simply this: somehow people started to make a spelling mistake when illiterates and dyslexics needed to write it down. It really comes from Wetness-day, the day of the week traditionally used for bathing.

Thursday. While some believe the name comes from Thor, a silly invention from Hollywood, stolen by the Scandinavians. However, the recently discovered writings of Sir I.M. Boozer indicate that this was the day originating from the middle ages that everybody quenched their thirst with Free Beer.

Friday. No, this day isn't dedicated to Norse Goddess Fríge (or Venus). This day was traditionally dedicated to procreation. Proper etymology (not the average schoolbook versions) shows that its origins can be found in Proto-Germanic, the word frijōną means "to love" in the sense of "making love".

Saturday. While most people do believe this day is dedicated to Saturn, it's incorrect. The Dutch writer and historian W.A.S. Gek wrote in 1492 that the day was originally called Zatterdag, meaning "Even More Drunk Day". Later they did drop one t, lazy as txtspeakers are, but thankfully the historic writings have been kept intact. The writings also indicate that the reason for this even more drunkness lies in the fact that women-folk hadn't discovered their G-spot yet. The honourable Lady G. discovered it in 1898 by accident. So until that day, the women were most likely very drunk in an attempt to forget the events of Friday.

So now you know!